No pics, just observations

Have you ever just had something hit you for no apparent reason? No, not a ball or a rock, but a thought? I had something hit me really hard and completely out of nowhere the other day. All these years I have been conviced I knew who my first love was, only to come to the realization that he wasn't. He was just a teenage crush, he just happened to be my first real boyfriend so I guess I thought that must be my first love. It hit me the other day who my first love really is. You know you read these stories about a soldier going off to war and leaving his girl behind and something happens? [insert sappy love shit here] and they never see each other again? He thinks about her on occasion but he ends up getting married to a nice woman and his kid or grandkid find the picture of her years later. Well that's my life. Kasey or Cheyenne are going to be going through my stuff when I'm old, asking me who this guy is. I'm not even sure of the whole story myself. But I do know that when I see his picture or think back (a couple few years!) I get these weird feelings that I don't know what to do with. I've only had them about him. Now you may be saying to yourself (or me!) Amy, you're married remember? Well yes I remember that's why I haven't done anything about hunting him down (even though I know right where he is [see WWI and WWII people needed myspace!]). Jim is the one I settled for. I know that and I have to live with that. But I still dream about the day I am able to run into his arms and feel his hands and his breath on me. I need to write a Gosh darn book. I have way too much drama to keep inside!

Where have all the happy people gone?

I can remember being about 5 or so and jumping in the car to drive around and look at Christmas lights. There were neighborhoods that you literally had to park your car a block away and walk them because there were so many people there to look at them. I also remember neighborhoods that you couldn't buy a house unless you signed a form or contract stating that you would decorate your house for Christmas. I miss those days. I am so disappointed in people now. It is so much fun seeing the houses decorated because of all the uniformity in this damn city and their houses, the lights are different with each place you drive by. Christmas decorations on houses are like snowflakes, no two are the same. It makes them unique and it makes them beautiful. I always wanted to have one of those houses that people made it a point to drive by. This is what we have so far. I see us as the Griswolds when they first got married. Just starting out! We have a dry river bed through the yard and that's where we put the blue lights. I am bound and determined to have reindeer by next Christmas to be drinking out of the river! What's really sad is that we just pulled up almost every plant in our front yard. I kind of think that subconciously I did that just so I would have more room for Christmas lights and decorations!! We're not even done with the yard yet. I have more candy canes to put out and the front patio is looking a little dark to me, but we'll get there before Christmas. Yes I know, they may not be up for very long but at least I put them up! As much stress as I am usually under during the Christmas season I still have the Christmas spirit. I love the holidays and I can't wait for them every year. See? I even start my kids on it really young!!!! Cheyenne seems to be drawn to the lights just like her mommy! Think I have enough lights in my front yard? Christmas is just a very happy time and people generally become a little more generous and a little less rude during this time of year and I think that's the way that it should be all year long but since I can't have it that way I will settle for one month of it. It looks like the happy people have gone though. They seem to have lost their Christmas spirit that I look forward to every year. Maybe it's just my neighborhood, how's your Christmas spirit?

Oh Christmas Tree.....

Christmas trees. Hmmm, where did the idea of a perfectly shaped pine tree with the angel or the star on top come from? I am normally very particular when it comes to my tree, it basically has to be perfect. Jim and I have had our down points on the roller coaster lately and I have realized there are things a little more important in life than how perfect my tree is. I let (and yes I said let) Jim go get the tree by himself. It is a nice VERY full tree, but the top is off and my angel is reclined. If there are more important things, than why does this bother me? Maybe Christmas means a little more to me now than it did a few years ago. I currently don't have ANY of my ornaments from when I was a kid or a baby, my ex in Iowa will not send them to me. I never realized how much ornaments meant until every year, since then, when I decorate the tree. I'll admit it, I cry. I want my ornaments back. He has no use for them! 25 years of ornaments sitting in a box in an attic in Iowa. I believe that this is the reason that I have become so precise about Christmas decorations. I LOVE Christmas and I want Christmas all around me, but I want it to be perfect. I guess it just doesn't feel perfect because I am missing something. Ok, I am missing 25 years worth of somethings!
So I took a little break from my blog above and now I don't remember where I was headed with it! So anyways, um.....Christmas time, gotta love it!

Barter system?

Would it be possible to revert back to the barter system? With all the problems that we seem to be having in this country with money, there has to be something that can be done. I like the idea of growing some corn and trading it for milk. Can't that work? I have come to the point that I hate money but you know I can't live without it. I don't have enough to pay my bills, yet I work my butt of and never get to see my babies. I'm living off of ramen and spaghettii and can't get food stamps because the government says we make too much money. Too much money for who?? Yeah, the guy living in the box down the street, would love to have my paycheck but it's not enough to support a family of 4. I would love to have health insurance but for my nice little family of 4 it would cost me about $500 a month. Government again says I make too much for them to cover me. Where am I getting all this money? Am I supposed to only pay for food and insurance and not have a home (which is not beyond my means) or am I just supposed to eat unhealthy because I can't afford the good stuff and then get sick and not be able to go to the doctor because I make too much money. But hey, I have a house! A decent 3 bedroom house that I can die in because I'm sick and unhealthy! Really? Oh! Wait! The president said I was going to get an extra check in the mail just for paying my taxes. Woohoo! There's a decent meal for a week and a couple bills. Guess what......it's gone now and I am back to working my ass off. Hey Mr. President, how bout you cut the employers taxes so that the boss can give me a raise or health insurance!?!?! And if he keeps the profit for himself THEN charge more in taxes. Please, cna someone do something? Ha! I'm considered middle class because of my income and my house. Didn't middle class used to have decent stuff? Food, TV's, cars, etc? Hmmmmm, I have a better nomination for president in 2012- Trace Adkins. Good Ole Boy. Down to earth. You're everyday Joe. With ALOT of brain in the head instead of rocks! Ok, just felt like getting that one off my chest.
TRACE ADKINS FOR PRESIDENT 2012

New Beginings

I have fallen to the peer pressure of starting a blog. I'm not sure how or why but I have convinced myself that I need one as well. Most of you know me and my family but in this blog (if I'm lucky enough to keep it up) you will learn even more of my rants, raves and pet peeves. I blame my ramblings on all these girls that are addicted to reading writing and photographing!

This is me and my husband Jim on our wedding day (obviously) May 19, 2007. We got married in my parents backyard here in sunny Arizona. You wouldn't think that May would be too hot yet but for some reason it was that year! We met a little over a year before that and neither of us could believe that we hadn't met before. We had had the same group of friends for 10+ years but never knew each other. In fact, his best friend at the time, was my boyfriend in high school. I guess we were destined to be together (if you believe in that sort of thing!) In the past year and a half we have definitely had some major ups and downs, and when I say downs, I mean WAY downs! We have managed to survive somehow. We married in May, got pregnant in July, started a pilot car business in October, had a baby and bought a house in March. We did it all in one year. Talk about getting things done! For those of you that don't know, pilot cars are the trucks with flashing lights that follow or lead oversize loads down the highways.

This handsome cowboy is my son Kasey. He was born May 16, 2002. I love this little boy to death. He is the sweetest kid with the biggest heart. He has also been through a lot lately but luckily Jim has been there to help. Poor guy got thown into a father role to a 4 year old boy with ADHD. I'm sure it's been more challenging for both of them than I realize! Kasey is a very bright young man and I see him going places with that brain of his! He is very interested in taking things apart which can be very frustrating to a parent but I know he just wants to know how it works and what all it does. If only he would be interested in putting them back together again! One of his favorite things to do is go outside and do work with dad. I'm not always sure I want to know what they're up to out in the garage but I think it's a man thing and I'm not supposed to know! Kasey also has decided already what he wants to be when he grows up. You ready for this? He wants to be a soldier, a bull rider, an oceanographer, and a fireman. Sounds like a plan huh? I wonder when he'll have the time to date let alone get married and have a family!

This beautiful little girl is Cheyenne, born March 14, 2008. She will be 9 months old in a few days and I can't believe she is getting so big so fast. I still remember that day in the hospital when Jim told me that we got our little girl. It still brings tears to my eyes. I will never forget him saying that to me. We waited to find out what she was and as much as I wanted to know for that 9 months, I am glad I waited. Everyone has said that she is going to be a daddys girl, which she is, but she is also her mama's girl too. You can already tell she's going to be smart like her big bro but she's going to be one of those strong silent types. She watches everything and I don't think she misses even the littlest thing that goes on around her! Her big brother definitely loves her very much which makes me so happy. I was afraid he was going to resent her but he almost loves her to a fault sometimes. She definitely loves him too, she laughs and smiles everytime she sees him, especially if he's making a funny noise or running around. She is crawling right now but I don't think it'll be long before she's up and running to keep up with him!

And this is my family.Thanks for reading up on us and hopefully there will be more to read in the future!